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- 英語 (アメリカ)
自然
@Akito12
Sounds good to me, just change "calligrapher" to be spelled with two L's.
Would your target audience know who Akito is? This part was confusing to me since I don't know who you're referring to.
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- 日本語
@soupdumpling Thanks so much for your feedback! Most of my target audience know who he is since it’s me😊, but as you told me, I should add some information on just in case.
How are the sentences below?
The calligrapher Shinan from Shizuoka wrote a haiku.. She’s the mother of Akito, the founder of Tea Cup Trip.
Thank you again!
How are the sentences below?
The calligrapher Shinan from Shizuoka wrote a haiku.. She’s the mother of Akito, the founder of Tea Cup Trip.
Thank you again!
- 英語 (アメリカ)
自然
@Akito12
Oh! それは大変申し訳ありませんでした!
I'm such a dummy, I just now noticed your profile name! (I'm so used to looking at the lovely tea background of your profile picture, and not the name, so I'm terribly sorry. 🙇♀️)
That being said, I like your rewrite much better. I think the additional information about your role really improves the overall sentence.
Some other arrangements might be:
The calligrapher Shinan of Shizuoka, mother of Akito, the founder of Tea Cup Trip, wrote this beautiful haiku poem on tea which appears on the wrapping paper in your tea assortment box.
Or,
The beautiful haiku on tea which appears on the wrapping paper in your tea assortment box was written by the calligrapher Shinan of Shizuoka, mother of Akito, the founder of Tea Cup Trip.
• You can use "haiku poem" or just "haiku."
We say it both ways in English.
• I also changed "from" to "of" in your mother's pen name. I should have caught this earlier. This is usually how names in this style are written.
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- 日本語
@soupdumpling いえいえ大丈夫です!私の写真を見てくれてありがとうございます😊
Your advice on my name really makes sense to me.
Thank you so much for sharing other expressions! Both sound great.
Your advice on my name really makes sense to me.
Thank you so much for sharing other expressions! Both sound great.
- 日本語
@soupdumpling Just a quick question on the difference between “from” and “on.”
Shinan is from Shizuoka Prefecture. Is “from” in my original writing incorrect or not natural in this context?
Thank you again🙏
Shinan is from Shizuoka Prefecture. Is “from” in my original writing incorrect or not natural in this context?
Thank you again🙏
- 英語 (アメリカ)
自然
@Akito12
Yes, "from" is perfectly fine if describing where someone is from, but "of" is a special stylization that is often used in people's titles. It has an elegant, honorific, or poetic nuance, similar to when we say Anne of Green Gables.
Either is fine, but if your mother is rather well-known, "of" would feel more befitting. 😊
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- 日本語
@soupdumpling Thanks for the detailed explanation. That perfectly makes sense. Arigato!
- 英語 (アメリカ)
自然
@Akito12
You're very welcome! By the way, I forgot to mention in all of this that the wrapping paper is gorgeous. What a lovely, inspired idea!
評価の高い回答者
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- 日本語
@soupdumpling Thanks so much for your compliment!
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