What is "emotionally available"?

How do you see it? Or maybe I should ask what is "emotionally unavailable"?

When one puts it out specifically, do they imply it's only about the emotionl sense, as in "others-ly available" ?

回答

christinefl

2022年8月9日

詳しい国や地域アメリカ

I'm not completely sure I understand the last part of your question, but let me answer the first. "Emotionally unavailable" means you are unwilling (or perhaps unable) to provide the kind of mutual emotional support people would normally want in a close friendship or romantic relationship, such as listening to the other person's problems, providing love and attention, etc. Sometimes it also specifically refers to having some emotional barrier to being romantic with someone or falling in love. Most of us are the opposite, emotionally available: welcoming of love and friendship.

For example:

"I'm sorry, you seem really sweet, but I don't want to date you. I just went through a tough breakup and I'm just not emotionally available right now."
"I tried to be friends with him, but he's so emotionally unavailable. He won't let anyone get close to him."

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Pumpk-a-boo

2022年8月9日

詳しい国や地域中華人民共和国

@christinefl Thank you! And great examples! Though, what do you mean by "get close to him"?

As for second question, sorry, I meant to say being available in other aspects.

Like your first example, by saying "I'm just not emotionally available now", could it just mean "I'm" totally available for all you need except emotions?

christinefl

2022年8月9日

詳しい国や地域アメリカ

Sure.

To get close to somebody in the context of friendship means to become a good friend, emotionally, and share things with them you wouldn't normally share with random acquaintances. That is, somebody who are close with (or have gotten close with) is somebody with whom you feel comfortable sharing how you feel about your most private or intimate problems and concerns. When somebody shares those deep feelings, we call that "opening up":
"Over the summer, Charlie and I talked a lot about his life and childhood, and I feel like I've gotten a lot closer to him now as a friend. He opened up to me about his older brother bullying him, and how much that affected him when he was growing up."

And yeah, if someone says they're not emotionally available, it doesn't usually imply anything about other things, like helping you with a project at school or work or whatever. It usually just means they're not ready for a deep friendship (or romantic relationship, depending on context) right now.

Of course, sometimes people who are grieving, or struggling with mental health issues, or otherwise just feeling very anxious or sad might not want to spend time with anybody at all. In that case, even normal things like having a conversation might be more emotional "investment" than they can really give right now, so you might say they are "emotionally unavailable" for even simple, everyday activities.

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Pumpk-a-boo

2022年8月9日

詳しい国や地域中華人民共和国

@christinefl Thank you sooo much!
Now I understand it better!

Here may be a situation where the two opens up to each other, one can respond and the other cannot.

I mean, technically they're still emotionally available right? If they open up and others "get close to them" yet unable to or unwilling to "get close to" others?